To say I love sailing on cruise ships would be an understatement.
I’ve experienced seven different cruise lines, traveling around the Bahamas and Caribbean; I’ve cruised down to Mexico and Central America; traversed the Panama Canal; sailed on two different roundtrips to Hawaii from the west coast; I’ve explored the wilds of Alaska a crazy FIVE times (with another on the books for 2026); twice I ventured north through New England and Canada to see the Fall foliage; and, I’ve even flown across the pond for a couple of European adventures. And along the way, I’ve learned a thing or tenabout what to do and what not to do on the high seas.
Or, at the least, I’ve learned what works best for my friends, family, and myself.
Just this week, I returned from my 32nd cruise vacation. To some, that number might sound excessive. To others, well, they’d think my number miniscule, especially since we met an older retired couple last week who have been on 104 cruises! There are folks out there who have done many, many more.
But to keep my number in context, I have cruised 32 times over the course of 38 years, so it doesn’t seem all that crazy to me. I’m sure the folks who think cruising is for the birds (or the whales, as the case may be) might think 32 is insane. But since it’s my favorite way to travel, and because I love being on the water so much, I always have a booked cruise on my calendar to look forward to.
My very first trip on the high seas was back in the stone ages of 1987, when I was 17 years old. That first trip was on a now-scrapped Carnival ship with my parents and sister. I remember the ship seemed absolutely HUGE to me back then as my sister and I snuck alcoholic drinks, danced all night in the disco, and practiced most mornings for a talent show we entered with some of the other teenagers we met on the boat.
And that huge boat? It was the first Jubilee (which was built for Carnival and sailed from 1986 until 1993) and she was a whopping 47,262 tons and held about 1,400 passengers.
Compare that to Royal Caribbean’s newest behemoth that launched just this month, the Star of the Seas. She weighs in at an almost unbelievable 248,663 tons and can accommodate between 5,600 and 7,600 passengers—if using every available berth—and she has an additional 2,350 crew members. That’s nearly 10,000 people on one ship. That’s bigger than a lot of towns.
I’m sorry; I’ve apparently drifted off course.
Let’s jump ahead 13 years to the year 2000, when I went on my second cruise, that time as a married adult. That trip was on Celebrity Cruises’ long-retired Zenith (also a 47,000 ton ship and one that I adored) roundtrip from New York City to Bermuda. And with that fateful cruise, I was officially hooked (even though I was traveling with my in-laws).
About once a year from that point on, I’ve sailed Carnival, Celebrity, Norwegian, Holland America, Virgin, Cunard, and Royal Caribbean. Just this past Tuesday, Dale, along with our Hawaii-based friends Ian and Michele, got off of the Ovation of the Seas in Los Angeles. We’d been on a six-night jaunt to Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada in Mexico, and as we all expected, we had an amazing time on that beautiful ship, even if we didn’t see a lot of the sun.
I’ll save my thoughts on the various cruise lines and the different classes of ships I’ve sailed on for another blog post—and yes, I certainly have many hits and misses to share—and I’ll get to the meat of my silly little article, since it’s fresh in my mind. I mean, I haven’t even got my land legs back yet!
1. PICK THE CRUISE LINE & SHIP THAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU
These days, researching cruise lines and their individual ships is easier than ever. Get online and you’ll find that nearly every ship has been documented and reviewed by scores, if not hundreds, of passengers. If I really want to get the feel of a boat I’ve never been on, I start with YouTube video tours. I’ll even Google the exact cabin type I’m interested in, and most of the time, I find a detailed video of that, too. Cruisecritic.com is another great resource, with both professional and amateur reviews of every ship sailing the seas today, including details about virtually every possible port of call.
It probably goes without saying that a 3-night weekend cruise on Carnival is a very different experience than a 7-night crossing on Cunard. And a booze cruise on Margaritaville is quite obviously not the same vacation as an expedition trip with Celebrity to the Galápagos Islands. So, you have to know what you are getting and what to expect.
If I was starting out from scratch today, I’d choose something in the middle range of the industry, perhaps a 4- to 7-night cruise on Royal Caribbean or Princess, to test the waters. Since I’m U.S. based, I’d pick the Bahamas, the Caribbean, Mexico, or Bermuda to start, because there are a wide variety of U.S. ports on both coasts—such as New York, Baltimore, Norfolk, Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, L.A., San Diego, San Francisco, and Seattle—as well as ports like Tampa and Galveston on the Gulf.
I wouldn’t go too small and I wouldn’t go to big—picking a ship in the middle, something like Celebrity’s Silhouette with 2,886 passengers or, if kids aren’t involved, perhaps Virgin Voyages’ adults-only Scarlet Lady with 2,700 passengers.
Then after that, you should be able to gauge if you want to go smaller and more intimate, like maybe the Azamara Onward with 670 people, or join one of the massive ships, like Royal’s gigantic Icon of the Seas with about 6,000 other vacationers.
2. CABIN CHOICE IS KEY
I personally won’t sail without a balcony these days, because I want to be able to get outside whenever the mood or scenery strikes me, but there’s nothing wrong with an inside cabin if you’re on a budget and aren’t claustrophobic. Once upon a long time ago, as a special treat, I enjoyed staying in a Loft Suite on Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas—a two-story cabin with a bedroom and bathroom upstairs and a living room, dining room, and second full bathroom down—but suites like that can get super pricey, so I don’t book too many.
But size and price aside (I’ll write another article soon all about that) the LOCATION of the cabin is key for me. I like to be on a high deck in the middle of the ship because then I’m only half way to almost any point on the ship. They also say the middle of the ship feels less movement from the waves.
I like to be relatively close to the elevators/stairs, too, for easy mobilization. You’ll usually find me one to two decks below the main pool deck on the starboard side (for no real reason except that I think ‘starboard’ is more fun to say than ‘port’).
But, most importantly, I study the deck plans very carefully to make sure a public area or a kitchen or service bar isn’t directly above my cabin, because that can be noisy. (One night, we heard a service cart rolling around directly above our bed for hours! At 2:00am I finally put my clothes on, found the spot directly about us, and turned that bar cart on it’s darned side.)
I also avoid cabins with connecting doors unless I’m going to know the folks on the other side, but it’s not a total deal breaker. They just kind of freak me out, even in hotel rooms.
3. ALWAYS GET TO THE EMBARCATION PORT CITY WITH TIME TO SPARE
I have heard too many horror stories about missed or delayed flights, traffic jams, and natural disasters ruining folks’ cruises because they weren’t able to make it to the ship on time. Maritime law requires cruise ships to have all passengers onboard one hour before they depart. That’s the law, not just a cruise line rule. So, you’ve got to plan accordingly or face spending a lot more money to try to catch up to the ship at the first stop.
I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, and can drive to the Los Angeles World Cruise Center, but I’d never start the trek the morning of departure. Never ever. We always go the day before a cruise begins. I mean, a $200 hotel room certainly beats the possibility of missing the boat. And when we have to fly to a port city, we always go at least a day before, too, making sure we have a few backup options. If we’re going far, far away, say to London, Rome, or Honolulu, we’d probably go at least two or three days in advance.
4. BE A SMART PACKER
I have to remind myself of this every time I pack for every kind of vacation: take half of what you thing you want (or have) to take. I’ve seen it time and time again—many folks tend to over-pack. I certainly don’t need seven pairs of shoes for a week’s cruise, even if that’s what I laid out by the suitcase two weeks ago. I don’t need to change three times a day either. And I don’t feel compelled to participate in every single themed night. (Our last cruise had a White Night, a 70’s Night, a tropical night, and an 80’s night. I did one of the four, and no one else cared and I didn’t feel left out.)
I try very hard to pack on the lighter side these days, taking along several items I can wear multiple times, too.
I haven’t adopted it yet, but I like this idea: one of my older gentleman friends developed a ‘uniform’ for himself and he wears it every evening without fail on every cruise we ever went on together. Kind of like the late Steve Jobs’ black turtlenecks or Mark Zuckerberg’s grey t-shirts, but a little dressier. I’m thinking maybe I should give something like that a try.
Anyway, I have to add that, if you are willing to spend a few bucks, most ships offer both laundry and dry cleaning services, and a few even have self-service laundry rooms onboard. When I decide to take one of those routes, I know I only have to bring HALF as much stuff, get it cleaned early- to mid-cruise, then wear them again!
And that’s how you go on a week-long cruise with a medium-sized suitcase and a backpack instead of taking six steamer trunks.
5. KNOW WHAT IS ALLOWED AND WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED ONBOARD
On every single cruise worldwide, every day, security officers confiscate drones, extension cords, clothes irons and steamers, multiple-outlet adaptors, bottles of wine and spirits, candles, weapons, fireworks, drugs, small appliances, etc., etc.
Take the time to read the cruise line’s rules about what you can pack and carry onboard and what you can’t, then you’ll be good to go without having anything taken away from you. Some cruise lines allow one bottle of wine per person…others don’t like curling irons. Take a few moments and find out before you leave home.
6. BUY THE TRAVEL INSURANCE
It might seem like a waste of money when you book the trip, but you have no idea what life is going to throw at you. A beloved family member might fall ill or die; a work emergency might spring up; or, your spouse might come down with COVID. Get the insurance and you’ll have some extra piece of mind. I almost always opt for it, and thank goodness, because I’ve had to use it twice, getting my money back for a vacation I couldn’t take.
7. DON’T TRY TO DO EVERYTHING
Back in the early days of my cruise vacations, I pre-arranged and scheduled every minute of every day. I thought I needed to book an excursion in every port…go to all of the specialty restaurants…attend every production show…and try all of the bars and nightclubs. I went to all the themed parties, the trivia games, and I even felt the need to make an ice skating reservation once upon a time.
And then, afterwards, I needed a vacation because of my vacation.
Cruises are supposed to be fun, but they should also be relaxing escapes.
When we were on the Ovation of the Seas last week, for the first time ever, I planned absolutely NOTHING. My friends and I decided to wing it. Wing everything. I made no dinner or show reservations. I didn’t book an excursion. We made no commitments at all. And guess what? We all had a ball and there was absolutely nothing we couldn’t do that we wanted to do. We never waited for a table, always found seats at the show, and always, ALWAYS had a drink in our hand.
And I wasn’t wiped out on disembarkation day.
8. DON’T TRY TO EAT EVERYTHING…OR DO!
My frequent traveling companions and I like to make (silent) fun of the people who carry two over-flowing plates of food back to their table at the ship’s buffet. Do they not get fed at home? Are they over-eating because it’s included? I don’t know, but I have never felt the need to literally stuff myself at every meal while onboard. Plus, cruise ship buffet food can leave a lot to be desired, if you ask me. It’s fine for a quick breakfast or lunch, but there are so many worthwhile restaurant choices that demand my attention.
We like to mix it up. We’ll book a specialty restaurant one night…enjoy the main dining room a few nights…eat a big lunch and then just have pizza another evening…or skip dinner altogether and opt for appetizers at a few different bars around the ship. There’s also room service, of course, but service and quality can be spotty in my experience, and I’m just not a big fan of eating an entire steak dinner in my cabin.
So, get out and mix it up, but try not to eat your weight in free pizza and soft serve ice cream. You’ll regret it eventually…or immediately, as the case might be.
9. WATCH THE ONBOARD SPENDING
Today’s cruise company model it to get as much money as possible from you when you are onboard. From bingo cards to bottled water…the casino’s slot machines to an upcharge to add a lobster tail to your New York strip…bus excursions to a beach club to premium coffee, the cruise line is always looking to get into your wallet.
You’ll also be tempted to buy art at an auction, a designer purse for 75% off, a watch, a scarf, or a logo sweatshirt with a picture of the ship on it. They’ll be marketing all of that stuff constantly, so beware.
Resist, if you can. I certainly do now, but I have fallen into the trap before; everyone does. But I already have too much stuff. I have too much cruise art hanging on my walls. And I totally do NOT need to bring gifts back to Aunt Sally. She has enough coffee mugs to last her several lifetimes.
Remember though that the cruise ships rarely accept cash, so you’ll be charging everything to your sea pass card and that can seem like you’re not spending real money, until you get the final bill, of course. So be aware as you go on how much you’re racking up.
If you are addicted to your smartphone and streaming videos (like me), you might want to spring for the enhanced internet package. And if you are a medium to heavy drinker on cruise vacations (also like me), a drink package is almost always a better deal than paying for each individually. Both of these packages can generally be purchased ahead of time, online, at a discount. I know Royal Caribbean runs many sales leading up to the cruise departure date, so keep your eye on it after you’ve booked, then sweep in and get them for 30% off.
10. BOOK SHORE EXCURSIONS THROUGH THE CRUISE LINE
This is important, I think. Yes, the shore excursions you purchase from the cruise line can be a little more expensive, however—and this is the important part—when you take their offering instead of booking one on your own, the cruise line guarantees that they won’t leave without you.
That sounds crazy, but it happens all the time. People go out exploring on their own…they hire a taxi to take them to an exotic beach…or they lose track of the time at a local watering hole. And they miss the all aboard time and then the cruise ship leaves the port of call without some of their passengers. It literally happens every day. The ship has no responsibility to wait for late people; they have a very tight schedule to keep.
But, if you are on a ship sponsored tour, they will not leave without you.
That’s it. That’s all I have to say about that, except that the cruise line sponsored tours and excursions have been vetted and you can almost always rely on the fact that they will be as described, they’ll be safe, and if they get cancelled for some reason, you’ll instantly get your money back.
Not missing the boat is key, though.
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